{"id":11400,"date":"2024-08-21T17:44:14","date_gmt":"2024-08-21T17:44:14","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/pulsperry.com\/?p=11400"},"modified":"2024-08-21T17:44:14","modified_gmt":"2024-08-21T17:44:14","slug":"an-elderly-mans-having-a-problem-with-gas","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/pulsperry.com\/?p=11400","title":{"rendered":"An elderly man\u2019s having a problem with gas"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

An elderly man\u2019s having a problem with gas<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

An elderly man goes to the doctor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He says,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cDoctor, I\u2019m having a problem with gas, but it really doesn\u2019t bother me, since they\u2019re always silent and odorless. Matter of fact, I\u2019ve farted 10 times just waiting for you.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Doctor says,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cTake these pills every day for a wee, and then come back and see me.\u201d
A week later, the man complains,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cDoctor, I don\u2019t know what you gave me, but my fatts smell horrible now!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The doctor says,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOK, now that your sinuses are clear, let\u2019s check your hearing.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

An elderly man traveling by plane was in urgent need of a restroom facility.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But each time he tried, it was occupied.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The flight attendant, aware of his predicament, suggested he use the attendant\u2019s ladies room, but cautioned him not to press any of the buttons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There next to the paper roll were four buttons marked: \u2018WW\u2019, \u2018WA\u2019, \u2018PP\u2019 and \u2018ATR\u2019.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Making the mistake so many men make of not listening to a woman, he disregarded what she said when his curiosity got the best of him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

He carefully pressed the WW button and immediately a gentle flush of Warm Water sprayed on his bare bottom.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He thought \u201cWow,these gals really have it nice.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So a little more boldly he pressed the WA button and body temperature Warm Air blew across his wet bottom and dried it comfortably.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAha\u201d<\/strong> he thought, \u201cno wonder these women take so long in the bathroom with these kinds of services.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So he pushed the next button PP with anticipation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

A soft disposable Powder Puff swung below him and dusted his bottom lightly with talc.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMan, this is great,\u201d<\/strong> he thought as he reach out for the ATR button.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When he awoke in the hospital, the morphine was just wearing off.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Confused, he buzzed the nurse to find out what happened.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He explained the last thing he remembered was intense pain in the ladies room on the plane.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The nurse explained,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYes, you must have been having a great time until you pushed the Automatic Tampon Removal button. By the way, your pen!s is under your pillow.\u201d<\/strong>
\"\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

also read<\/a><\/h2>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

An elderly man\u2019s having a problem with gas An elderly man goes to the doctor. He says, \u201cDoctor, I\u2019m having a problem with gas, but it really… <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":11409,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/pulsperry.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11400"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/pulsperry.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/pulsperry.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pulsperry.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pulsperry.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=11400"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/pulsperry.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11400\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":11410,"href":"https:\/\/pulsperry.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11400\/revisions\/11410"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pulsperry.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/11409"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/pulsperry.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=11400"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pulsperry.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=11400"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pulsperry.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=11400"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}