The Journey Through Betrayal and Misunderstanding, Struggling Through Betrayal, Miscarriage, and Finding Strength
Thirteen years ago, at 22, I married right out of university without fully understanding the importance of establishing myself first. My husband was 11 years older, and although he wasn’t wealthy, I believed in our love. During my youth service year, I conceived but lost the pregnancy shortly after. My family helped him secure a stable government job, which improved our situation. After losing my first pregnancy, we moved in with his parents due to financial difficulties. During this time, my father-in-law, while my husband was away, asked me if the “ladies in the water” had warned me that I would die on the day I gave birth. With the new job, we moved back and continued our lives, but I faced three more miscarriages along with numerous dramas, including traditional rituals and family commands.
Nearly five years later, while my husband was traveling, his father contacted my aunt to say they no longer wanted to be married to me. I received the news at work and traveled with my aunt and grandmother to plead with them. We were denied entry and had to spend the night in a nearby shed. When the power returned, I saw my father-in-law walking around the compound spraying incense. Realizing I was wasting my time, I trekked to the motor park, facing numerous obstacles, and returned home, praying and fasting for his return. I lost weight and encountered many fraudulent pastors during this period. Eventually, I discovered I had access to my husband’s Facebook account, which revealed that the breakup wasn’t due to my faults but rather his baseless accusations.
I found the strength to apply for a divorce, despite his claims that a good wife waits for her husband. In court, his father and family claimed I had abandoned him, and he remarried shortly after our divorce. I relocated to a larger city for a fresh start, met a new husband, and married him the same year. We faced more struggles with pregnancy losses, including a cerclage that failed, leading to a near-fatal situation. After 14 weeks of multiple miscarriages, I finally received a correct diagnosis: my womb was too small to carry a pregnancy to term.
What do you think I should do next? Should I continue to fight for a successful pregnancy, or should I focus on finding peace with my situation?
