LOVE CAN BE COMPLICATED, EVEN FROM AFAR. I never thought I’d find myself in a long-distance relationship, but when I met him through a mutual friend, everything changed. After getting my number, we started texting, sharing pictures, and eventually moved to phone calls and FaceTiming. Living 1300 miles apart posed challenges, but he was eager..
I never thought I’d find myself in a long-distance relationship, but when I met him through a mutual friend, everything changed. After getting my number, we started texting, sharing pictures, and eventually moved to phone calls and FaceTiming. Living 1300 miles apart posed challenges, but he was eager. “You need to come visit,” he said, “We need to get married.” As Orthodox Jews, we only date for marriage, but we hadn’t even met yet. I knew we were forbidden to marry without meeting, yet the excitement was undeniable.
As time passed, the distance became a source of tension. I was new to my job, which made scheduling a visit difficult. Our communication turned into silent treatments and fights. He was her husband’s AA sponsor, but I often felt isolated. When we finally met and got engaged, I paid for everything, while he spent on others. It felt like I was missing the signs of emotional abuse due to the distance. He rarely allowed differing opinions and often ignored my calls and texts. I remember waiting for a card he promised, only to hear him say, “Wait until she leaves the room,” when I wanted to share my happiness.
Eventually, I realized he wasn’t marriage material. I slowly distanced myself, not responding until it culminated in a confrontation. He was shocked when I told him it was over, but the red flags were clear: a lack of empathy, never keeping promises, and an unsettling need to control. If we had lived closer, it might have ended sooner, but this long-distance connection prolonged the inevitable.
