It’s almost impossible to tell if someone will be good in bed just by looking at them. There aren’t any tried-and-true giveaways, like a certain type of haircut or a specific style — and sometimes it’s even the people who seem cool on the surface who end up letting you down the most during sex.
That’s why if you’re ever on a first date and trying to get a read on a potential hookup, you might want to keep an eye out for some of the sneakier signs someone’s good in the sack. According to Susan Trombetti, a matchmaker and CEO of Exclusive Matchmaking, one of the first things to look for is how they carry themselves.
“Confident people make great lovers,” she tells Bustle. “Think about it: Someone who’s shy and lacking in confidence is going to be nervous about taking risks in the bedroom or just being in the moment.” While a shy person may open up eventually, it’s the date who seems relaxed and self-assured who’s most likely to rock your world.
Another giveaway is a fun-loving personality. Are they laughing? Cracking jokes? Do they find your humor irresistible? Consider it a good omen. “People who love to have fun are going to have fun in the bedroom, and that means so are you,” she says.
With those basics out of the way, here are some of the weirder signs someone will be good in bed, according to dating experts.
1. They’re Not Afraid Of Eye Contact
If someone has flirty eye contact, consider yourself in good hands. Think sexy glances, smoldering stares, or a confident gaze that makes you go weak in the knees. (Bonus points if they glance down at your lips, a clue they might be trying the TikTok-viral “triangle method.”) Their inability to look away is a surefire sign they’ll give you the same amazing attention in bed.
“Someone who locks eyes with you and never drops their gaze is communicating in a hot and steamy manner,” says Trombetti. Chances are they’ll carry that sexy energy all the way into the bedroom where they’ll proceed to make the night all about you.
2. They’re An Amazing Dancer
Is your date a good dancer? Are they tossing you to and fro? Do they jump up when the DJ plays their favorite song? If so, brace yourself for a good time. “Someone who’s a great dancer not only has the moves on the dance floor but also in bed,” says Trombetti. It means they aren’t afraid to move their body, let loose, and have fun.
Even someone who pays attention to the music at the bar or taps their fingers along to the beat could be what you’re looking for. “People who seem to be having rhythm and soul — for example, those who aren’t afraid to groove to that music playing when you sit and have a glass of wine — are often fun to make love with,” adds Sofie Roos, a licensed sexologist and relationship therapist. Keep an eye out for rhythm.
3. They’re A Total Foodie
Take note if your date is really getting into dinner and dessert — and not just because they’re hungry. Are they commenting on the brightness of the salad? The expert way the bartender poured their drink? Or the amazing dipping sauce that came with your fries? If so, you might be in luck. “It means they love a good experience, and they will savor sex with you and not rush it in the bedroom,” says Trombetti.
