Late one evening a Marine pulled into a little town, only to find that every hotel room was taken.
When he finally got to the last hotel, he pleaded to the manager, “You’ve got to have a room somewhere, or just a bed, I don’t care where.”
“Well, I do have a double room with one occupant, a Navy guy,” admitted the manager, “and he might be glad to split the cost. But to tell you the truth, he snores so loudly that people in adjoining rooms have complained in the past. I’m not sure it’d be worth it to you.”
“No problem,” the tired Marine assured him, “I’ll take it.”
The next morning the Marine came down to breakfast bright-eyed and bushy-tailed.
“How did you sleep?” asked the manager.
“Never better.”
The manager was impressed
“No problem with the other guy snoring, then?”
“Nope, I shut him up in no time,” said the Marine.
“How’d you manage that?” asked the manager.
“He was already in bed, snoring away, when I came in the room,” the Marine explained.
“I went over, gave him a kiss on the cheek, said, ‘Goodnight, beautiful,’ and after that he sat up all night watching me…”
A blonde nun was praying in her room
A blonde nun was praying in her room when God appeared before her,
“My daughter, you have pleased me greatly. Your heart is full of love and your prayers are always for the benefit of others. I have come to commend you and to grant you anything you wish.”
“Oh, Father, I am perfectly happy. I do what I love. The Church supports me. I am content. I need nothing.”
“There must be something you would like,” said God.
Well, there is one thing.”
“Name it,” said God. She frowned.
“It’s those blonde jokes. They’re so demeaning, not just to me but to blondes everywhere. Can you stop them?”
“Consider it done,” said God.
“Blonde jokes are hereby stricken from the minds of humans everywhere. But isn’t there something I could do just for you?”
“Well, there’s one thing. But it’s really small and not worth Your time,” she said.
“Tell me, please!” said God.
“It’s the M&M’s,” she said. “They’re so hard to pee
