A teacher once asked Joanie, “If you had a million dollars and gave away one quarter, then another quarter, then another quarter, how much would you have left?”
Joanie thought for a moment and replied, “A million dollars minus seventy-five cents.”
A wealthy woman and a poor but honest man had been spending time together. One evening, feeling unusually bold, he said, “You are very rich.”
“Yes,” she replied. “I’m worth 1.25 million dollars.”
“And I’m poor,” he said. “Will you marry me?”
“No.”
“I thought you’d say no.”
“Then why ask?”
“Oh—just to see how it feels to lose 1.25 million dollars.”
A sixty-year-old millionaire married a stunning twenty-three-year-old and threw a lavish reception at his enormous mansion. When a jealous friend asked how he managed it, the groom grinned.
“I faked my age.”
“How old did you say you were?”
“Eighty-seven.”
At a will reading, a lawyer announced: “To my loving wife, I leave the house and two million dollars. To my daughter, the business, the yacht, and one million dollars. And to my cousin Dan, who hated me and argued with me constantly—well, Dan… you were wrong. Hi, Dan.”
